To A Former FB Friend

Dear Former FB Friend,

It never ceases to amaze me how people can experience the disconnect that causes them to write in frightened tones about the DEATHFATZ Obesity Epidemic, and yet understand that their sister who diets and diets may diet her way into an eating disorder and regain the weight she lost.

As someone who counsels lesbian and bi couples with love, tolerance and wisdom, you still don't seem to understand that fat people are a much-maligned majority and that some of that love, tolerance and wisdom would be most helpful and pertinent when dealing with fat people, who really don't need to be stigmatized as an epidemic. First of all, people are older and taller these days. Many people gain weight when they are older. Taller people tend to get higher BMI readings because of the flaw in the BMI measuring system. People who diet may often diet their way to gaining weight, since that is the only thing that dieting seems to predict with success.

And I would also add: So what? Is the problem that you, a thin, blonde white female, cannot stomach the idea of fat people existing happily without stigma? You said you read FatLand. Didn't this mean anything to you? Didn't you see how the territory in which mostly fat people lived managed not only to grow, but to thrive when fat people were not stigmatized and were not stopped from making their contributions to a society that welcomed both them and their contributions?

If you knew, would you continue to write about us as an "Epidemic"? Would your sister be part of an epidemic? Or is it that you just don't like looking at fat people?

I tried to get to get across to you how fat people feel about not being represented in the ongoing discussion of their fate and their health. I thought you understood.

I guess I was wrong.

Sincerely, Frannie